From Fixer to Coach: Learning to Lay Down the Expert Hat

I am a fixer by nature.

I value efficiency. I move quickly. Patience is not my default strength. These traits

served me well as a leader—they helped me make decisions, solve problems, and drive

results. But over time, I’ve learned that the very qualities that made me effective in

leadership sometimes competed with my ability to coach.

Coaching does not require being the expert in the room in the same way leadership,

teaching, or writing a book often does. In fact, when coaching, expertise can get in the

way. Not having the client’s technical knowledge or industry background does not

prevent meaningful insight or learning. What matters is something different.

At the same time, the other extreme is also true. Coaching without any relevant

experience—without understanding business dynamics, emotional intelligence, or

workplace culture—can limit the depth of questions a coach is able to ask. While I don’t

need to have worked in someone’s exact role or industry, I do need a grounded

understanding of how people, power, emotion, and systems interact at work.

Becoming a stronger coach has required me to lay down my agenda.

I’ve had to slow my pace to match the client’s. I’ve had to listen for their meaning, not

rush to mine. I’ve had to become a more disciplined listener—using reflective listening,

curiosity, and silence instead of solutions. I’ve also had to learn when to take the expert

hat off and when—only with permission—to briefly put it back on.

What has become most solidified in my coaching practice is the central role of

willingness.

Both parties must be willing. Willing to be vulnerable. Willing to release rigid

expectations. Willing to be flexible and explore what emerges rather than control the

outcome.

Without a client’s willingness to reflect and learn, progress stalls. And without the

coach’s willingness to resist directing, fixing, or over-influencing, the experience

becomes diminished for the client. Coaching loses its power when the coach values

their own expertise over the client’s lived experience.

Coaching, at its best, is not about efficiency. It’s about presence. And presence requires

willingness—from both sides.