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No One is Coming: Becoming Independent Minded in Today’s Dependent World

I was watching a Netflix show recently about working moms and one of the characters started her own PR firm. In a crisis with the new firm, her husband said “no one is coming”. To clarify, he meant “you own the business, no one is coming to help. Just take care of it.”

As a professional and solopreneur, that advice hit home. When we are locked in indecision, there is sometimes a need to someone to come in a fix it. Someone higher up in the company, or in the world, to make the tough call or do the hard thing. But often, the buck should stop with us. No one else is coming. Its our difficult conversation to have. Its our tough decision to make. We must navigate the situation based on our experience and knowledge and just do it.

No one else is coming.

Often, in life and in work, I feel like a little girl dwarfed by the difficulty I’m faced with at times. I feel that “climb up in my dad’s lap” kind of feeling. That little girl inside just needs to be rescued. Where is the firefighter, the hero, the superhero to come in and move the obstacle, fix the crisis and take on the bully? I am fortunate to have a dad who gave me this safe feeling. But as a single mom and solopreneur, the only hero around is me…if I only owned a cape and could fly.

No one else is coming.

This isn’t supposed to deflate you. It is supposed to encourage you. Empower you. Inspire you. You are the boss. You are able. Do it. You don’t need anyone else. You are in the position of authority. You own the company. You know best. Trust yourself. What are you waiting for? Who are you waiting for?

No one else is coming.

When we rise to the top in organizations or with our own company, the circle is smaller. The people you can rely on or trust are more exclusive. There are less experts that know what you do. Sometimes we don’t mentally transition to upper-level thinking required to be at the top. We fail to realize that we are it. We have worked our way through life and work letting someone else do decision making. We are dependent on others or technology to a fault. Our independence rests in our confidence in our competence. We alone have been placed here for such a time as this.

No one else is coming.

A friend of mine, Dr. Ruth Gotian wrote a great article on Imposter Syndrome which is prevalent in the workplace today. It means we think we don’t deserve our position, that we are fake and just know everyone around us will find out. When we doubt ourselves and don’t believe we deserve to be here, we have dependent thinking. We have shorted our belief in our gifts and talents and go back to the idea that someone else will catch up or hold the responsibility.

No one else is coming.

We waste precious moments wishing for a savior. Wishing for what could have been. Wishing for a knight to ride in on a white horse. We can do this for each other. We can hold a friend’s hand while she sits in a difficult season making tough decisions. We can listen. We can support. We can’t do the hard work for someone else, but we can stand guard while they do. We can say “atta girl” whether we agree or not. We can accept and love someone and remind them who amazing they are.

No one else is coming.

Let it be a drumbeat in your mind. You got this. You already know what needs to be done. This doesn’t mean we don’t gather data, ask unusual voices or mentors for advice and use various tools designed to enhance our decision-making ability. These things give buoyancy and stability to our decisions. But we must still make them. Just do it. You got this.

No one else is coming. Make the call. Have the conversation. Fire the person. Find a new vendor. Buy the company. Hang the shingle. Take the risk. Do it. I believe in you. You got this.

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